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[03 Jul 2008|06:51pm] |
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goooodbye everything
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[01 Jun 2008|12:35am] |
all i really can do is laugh at today
friends? fuck em' riiiight
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[18 May 2008|10:23am] |
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i just feel like ripping my eyelashes out one by one
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[12 May 2008|06:39pm] |
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the bunny came back to my house today and i skipped work to sit here to play with her. i'm okay with the face i have no life.
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[07 May 2008|01:29pm] |
$20 prom dress, hahaa
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[03 May 2008|11:52am] |
i shouldn't even be awake right now
1. i love you, plain and simple. i'd like to think you feel the same way, but i honestly don't know. i've never said it because i don't know what kind of response i'd get from you because you still haven't learned to let go of your past. i just wish you'd accept where you are right now because it's really not that bad. you're baggage is something i could really do without. and.. you're mood swings are pushing me away more than you think. sometimes i just want to hang up the phone and never speak to you ever again. take 3 seconds to think about what you're about to say to me before you actually say it. just because i'm 19 doesn't mean that i'm less of a person than you are. i don't want this to end and i certainly don't want it to end on a sour note so just learn to sit back and really listen to what i'm saying.
2. what are you trying to do to yourself? you're so emotionally unstable it's insane. stop trying to be older than you really are. the last 5 yearsof your life you've acted like you were married and on your own. did you honestly think it would always work out in your favor? you're only 18. move back home and get your shit together. you're capable of so much, i know this for a fact. you don't give yourself enough credit. you don't need him, you don't need any othr guy. you've never just been alone and i don't think you've had any time to figure yourself out. you don't know what make you happy, you don't know what you want, you know what makes other people happy, you know what other people want and you can't live your life like that.
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[01 May 2008|11:33pm] |
the next three months are going to be so good
semesters basically over in like 2 weeks
camping campingcamping!!!
anndd i guess i'm going to prom now
aruba in a month and half
and then quitting my job
and having the rest of the summer off
come august i'm getting shit done
probably moving int to the city
hopefully massart or lesley takes mee
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[21 Apr 2008|02:16pm] |
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happy one year
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[16 Apr 2008|08:37am] |
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i need this semester to be over, i'm on the verge of ripping my eyes out. i can't handle being in class for 4 hours then being at work for 6 and then coming home and doing another 3 hours worth of homework, consecutively. i have no time for myself or anyone else and it's just getting way too intense.
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[26 Mar 2008|12:39am] |
the past year has gone by so fast, i can't even believe it. i didn't even realize until today that my birthday is this saturday which is awful.
i remember this time last year i was trying so hard to find any excuse to talk to you. im glad i have something to show for all my my effort. happy 11 months<3
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[16 Mar 2008|04:35pm] |
lola <3
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[13 Mar 2008|08:29pm] |
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i finshed a pianting last night. i woke up early this morning and said oh hey i'll bring the paiting by mem's nursing home and hang it up in her room for a while (because the first place most of them go when they're done) and after a few seconds i realized that i could't do that anymore. i've never really had to deal with loosing someone like this. i just don't understand how someone can be here and be part of something one day and the next be completely gone forever.
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[06 Mar 2008|01:51pm] |
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i sat next to my grandmother for six hours straight last night just holding her hand. having to look at someone who was suffering that badly for that amount of time is probably the hardest thing ever. now i don't know if you've ever had to sit with someone and just watch them pass away but it makes you appericare every aspect of your life a hell of a lot more.
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[01 Mar 2008|10:28am] |
art institute of boston next fall
i neeeed a rooomie
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[20 Feb 2008|12:56pm] |
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i've been in this horrible mood where i don't even want to be around anyone. i feel like everyone is straight up ignorant. i've seperated myself from most of you for a good reason; i just don't feel i need them in my life. i don't need people who simply crave attention. i don't need people who do things just for the sake of other people's reaction. sitting in school all day with stupid shitty inconsiderate people is enough for me, i don't need my circle of friends to consist of the same kind of douchebags. i am not perfect by any means, but i also don't go around and intentionally ruin people's lives. why bother? if anyone has any idea i'd love to hear your reasoning, but until then.. i have no clue. i just work all the time because i enjoy the company of a bunch of toddlers more than i do most of yours. i just wish that some people would understand that it's okay to give a shit about someone else. i don't care if your "scene" expects to be the biggest prick on the face of the earth. reality check, you're no better than anyone else, you're not different. you're all the fucking same. take a step back, look at yourself.
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[15 Feb 2008|08:23am] |
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i just bought plane tickets for aruba. two weeks in the middle of june with my best friend, so excited. i didn't like dropping so much money at once but whatever. i'm going to be in debt for another two months but i'm sure a five star resort and my own personal bartender in a little grass hut on a gorgeous private beach will b worth it. i also have an appointmet to start my new tattoo next week and i'm trying to decide to spend the little money i do have on that or being able to do things for the next two weeks. whaatever, money is so stupid.
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[29 Jan 2008|10:39pm] |
leg work outs completely kicked my ass today
then i went to the mall and my legs tensed up and got all weird
as i was walking down the stairs.. and ate complete shit
and.. took out the cutest old lady
needless to say, i felt like the biggest asshole ever
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[26 Jan 2008|08:35pm] |
starting february 16th i'll be going to bartending school
classes every saturday from 9-4 for a month and a half
i highly doubt i'll be able to get a job
or do anything with the certification
BUT i'll be able to make you kickass drinks
and ma dukes is paying for it which makes it that much better
i'm going to have such a hard time making it through this semester
and it's only been a weeeek
i'm on the verge of dropping all my classes
except child growth and development
because that's the only class i need to be certified at work
and be the best "toddler teacher" ever
along with making bank $$$
and my tattoo is all healed and nice
i need to get the white touched up though
i wisssh he didn't use so much of it
because it fades like nobody's business
and i think i'm going to get my other arm done
mmm!
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[20 Jan 2008|11:34am] |
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classes start in a couple days and i'm kind of glad, sitting around gets old after a while.
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stephanniee's journal
